Resilience – The Key to Eliminating Limiting Beliefs

re·sil·ience //  (r-zlyns)

n. 1. The ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune; buoyancy.

2. The property of a material that enables it to resume its original shape or position after being bent, stretched, or compressed; elasticity.

// (The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language)

When you look back at your childhood, do you experience happy memories or sadness?  Do you focus more on the wounds of the past or the joys of experiences you had?  The answers to these questions are very important to determining just how resilient you are.  How strong are your beliefs that you can and will overcome obstacles and succeed?  Research indicates that individuals with open wounds from the past tend to have more difficulty believing they can accomplish their goals.  It is as if they are chained to the past, held back by powerful emotional cords.  These cords consist of lies attached to the events of the past.  Your own past and the stories you inherited from your family.  These lies are misperceptions and misunderstandings and outright falsehoods about what really happened, your personal value, your ability to succeed, what others think, and what you believe about yourself.

Resilience, as defined by the American Heritage Dictionary, is the ability to recover and even return to the original shape.  You can overcome the wounds of the past and “bounce back”.  And rather than returning to your original state, I believe you will become stronger, clearer and possess a message that will likely become part of your purpose and passion.  It will take some work.  It will mean going back and remembering the painful events of the past, but this time armed with tools that clean and cauterize the wound so you can heal.  Once you have completed the work of healing the past, you will be ready and able to move forward into the future.  You will experience freedom from shame and grief and find a lightness that enables you to soar over obstacles in your path.  Limiting beliefs about who you are and what you can do will no longer hold you.

Rising from the clay

Og Mandino writes, “Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold.  The height of my goals will not hold me in awe though I may stumble often before they are reached.  If I stumble I will rise and my falls will not concern me for all men must stumble often to reach the hearth.  Only a worm is free from the worry of stumbling.  I am not a worm.  I am a man.  Let others build a cave with their clay.  I will build a castle with mine.”

“Let others build a cave with their clay.  I will build a castle with mine.”  I love these two sentences!  It truly envisions a life beyond failure or discouragement. 

I was listening to a recording by David T. Blanchard on Og Mandino’s writings this morning and I was struck with the image of so many people mired in the muck of their failures and shortcomings.  Business owners and entrepreneurs are not immune.  We may keeping moving, apparently forward, but internally we go round and round with the “shoulda, coulda, woulda” messages in our minds.  This cycle of self-sabotage can be stopped.  Recognizing the negative chatter and reframing it takes effort — but the rewards are huge!  Freedom! Success!  Peace! You will finally allow yourself to enjoy your successes because you will feel your internal world and your external persona are beginning to match.  You will have silenced the voice that calls you a fraud, look in the mirror and like who you see.  You will reach out for your goals and believe they are attainable.

Does this sound reasonable — or is it a stretch for you?